Première Blatte: Cork (EV)

OK, I'll say this once. Every time I write something in French, I'll post a translation under the French title, translated except for the word Blatte. Blatte means something rather close to a cockroach. Don't ask again, I won't tell you.
A'ight, let's get to it.

"Alright, since I've started this thing, let's start now.
Don't go thinking I'm going to spill my guts just like this. Eventually those will apear, but frankly, I don't open up that much easily.
So well, for starters I'll tell you about Cork, Ireland. After all, this is the BlatteMan in Cork's blog.
The first thing that comes to mind when I think of Cork is that I don't know more aptly named city.For those of you who are doubting, or simply wondering what the hell I am ranting about, I'll direct your attention to two simple facts. You English-speaking guys all know what a cork is (if you don't, http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/image/s_cork2.jpg is your friend). Second fact is the sheer quantity of bars and pubs per square kilometre in this little city. Just astonishing. I have no statistics, of course, so you'll just have to take my word for it. Or come here and see for yourself, in which case do come and say hi to yours truly.
The second thing is the smallness of the town. I spent most of my life in Paris or its suburbs, and I'm always surprised to see that in a five-minute walk I can get from a rather modern neighbourhood to a 60's-style suburban landscape, all the while staying within the city borders.
The thrid thing is a bit silly. I'm talking about a huge wave of happiness at the thought of my living about three minutes from a Burger King. It probably seem weird to those of you living in a country where the BKs haven't been tracked and terminated like dangerous beasts. Those of my readers (O the arrogance, the fools expects more than one person!) who grew up in France and drop everything and run to the nearest BK whenever they're abroad will understand.
Anyhow, I'll leave you at it and go grab something to eat now... *dreams of a Dark Whooper*

Tally Ho!"